The recent adverts splashed across the sides of city buses for the new stage version of “The Sound of Music” have reminded me of the bizarre things that can happen with film titles in Spain. Over here, “The Sound of Music” is not “The Sound of Music”, but is instead, when translated back into English, “Smiles and tears” (Sonrisas y lágrimas). It’s certainly snappier than a literal translation, and whoever came up with it should be awarded top marks for creativity (they’ve also done a stellar job interpreting the lyrics for “Do-Re-Mi” by the way) but it bears so little resemblance to the original title that an English speaker wouldn’t have a clue which film you were talking about. Incidentally, the same film is translated as “The rebel trainee nun” in Latin America (La novicia rebelde), “The melody of happiness” in French (La mélodie du bonheur), “All together, passionately” in Italian (Tutti insieme appassionatamente), and so on and so on, leaving endless scope for amusement and confusion in equal measure.
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English teachers beware! Posing the innocent question “What have you seen at the cinema recently?” can therefore often cause a class to dissolve into arguments, giggles and general chaos, instead of sparking the lively cinematic debate you were hoping for. It wouldn’t be so bad if the people who decide on film titles (who are these pranksters anyway? They should all be fired!) had some sort of logical system, but apparently they just do whatever the hell takes their fancy. In attempt to make it look a bit more logical, and because I do love a good list, here are the various ways a perfectly good film title can be mangled beyond all recognition:
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1. Leave the title in English
For example, “Pulp Fiction”, “American Beauty” and “Trainspotting” all had their titles left intact when they arrived on Spanish shores, as did – ironically – “Lost in Translation” (although interestingly, in Latin America it was translated as “Lost in Tokyo” (Perdidos en Tokio) which nicely illustrates point number 4 below). You might think this method would be mangle-free, but just wait until you hear a Spaniard try and pronounce “Pulp Fiction”. You’ll still have no idea what film they’re talking about.
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2. Translate the title literally
Examples include “The Godfather” (El Padrino), “Fight Club” (El club de la lucha) and “The Silence of the Lambs” (El silencio de los corderos). This method probably makes the most sense and is easiest for everyone, but unfortunately there are some titles that just don’t translate – can you imagine what “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” would sound like in Spanish? (If you can’t, I’ll tell you…absolutely ridiculous!)
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3. Leave the title in English but add something catchy in Spanish at the end
Remember those classic films “Snatch. Pigs and diamonds” (Snatch. Cerdos y diamantes), “Ghost: beyond love” (Ghost: más allá del amor), “Speed: maximum power” (Speed: máxima potencia) and “Kick-Ass: ready to crush” (Kick-Ass: Listo para machacar)? Nope, me neither. To be honest, I don’t really see the point in adding on this extra bit, especially as it gives a little bit too much information about the film. Which leads me nicely on to my next point…
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4. Change the title so it gives away the whole plot
Or maybe not the whole plot, but some key detail which isn’t even mentioned in the English title! You want an example? How about “How to kill your boss” (Cómo acabar con tu jefe) from the original title “Horrible Bosses”? Or perhaps my personal favourite “Really big hangover in Las Vegas” (Resacón en Las Vegas)…no prizes for guessing which film THAT is. I really don’t think Spanish audiences need to have things spelt out for them like this, but hey ho. (Just in case you were wondering, “The Hangover 2” was transformed into – you guessed it – “Really big hangover 2, now in Thailand!”)
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5. Change the title to something misleading
I’d wanted to go and see “Bridesmaids” when it came out a couple of years ago, but didn’t even twig that it had been released in Spain until it was too late. Why? Because on the adverts it was called “My best friend’s wedding” (La boda de mi mejor amiga)…which is a completely different film! With Julia Roberts! Which I very much did NOT want to see thank you very much.
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6. Do something totally random
The kind of titles you see and think “what in God’s name were they on when they picked THAT?”. Examples include “Grab it whichever way you can” (Agárralo como puedas) for “The Naked Gun” (???) and “Land whichever way you can” (Aterriza como puedas) for “Airplane” (yes, there is a word in Spanish for “airplane”, goodness knows why they chose not to use it). Or one of my favourites “The glass jungle” (La jungla de cristal) for – wait for it – “Die Hard”. I guess it might have worked for the first one in the skyscraper, but then it all came unstuck when they decided to make “The Glass Jungle 2” (and 3, and 4, and 5…).
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Here are some more of my favourites, see if you can work out what the original titles were…
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Two very stupid idiots (Dos tontos muy tontos)
One of ours (Uno de los nuestros)
Forget about me! (¡Olvídate de mí!)
Life sentence (Cadena perpetua)
The mole (El topo)
What do women think about? (¿En qué piensan las mujeres?)
Her parents (Los padres de ella)
His parents (Los padres de él)
Red telephone? We fly to Moscow (¿Teléfono rofo? Volamos hacia Moscú)
Between drinks (Entre copas)
All in a day (Todo en un día)
Two rebel policemen (Dos policías rebeldes)
Two rebel policemen II (Dos policías rebeldes II)
Shark (Tiburón)
Wearing skirts and going crazy (Con faldas y a lo loco)
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Struggling? Here are the answers!
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Two very stupid idiots (Dos tontos muy tontos) = Dumb and Dumber
One of ours (Uno de los nuestros) = Goodfellas
Forget about me! (¡Olvídate de mí!) = Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Life sentence (Cadena perpetua) = The Shawshank Redemption
The mole (El topo) = Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
What do women think about? (¿En qué piensan las mujeres?) = What Women Want
Her parents (Los padres de ella) = Meet the Parents
His parents (Los padres de él) = Meet the Fockers
Red telephone? We fly to Moscow (¿Teléfono rofo? Volamos hacia Moscú) = Dr. Strangelove
Between drinks (Entre copas) = Sideways
All in a day (Todo en un día) = Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Two rebel policemen (Dos policías rebeldes) = Bad Boys
Two rebel policemen II (Dos policías rebeldes II) = Bad Boys II
Shark (Tiburón) = Jaws
Wearing skirts and going crazy (Con faldas y a lo loco) = Some Like It Hot
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